Thursday, May 1, 2008

Driving Controversy and other thoughts

As the family mediator and perfect although less-celebrated child, I interject my voice into the discussion that has sparked the most comments on this site yet. Many of my comments will sound generic, but this is what has been on my mind lately as I try to make the most of my life:

We all need to be more goal-oriented in how we approach our lives. It is my experience that when I only do the minimum then my life experience is at its minimum. When I didn't train hard for Xcountry, my times suffered. When I only did the minimum for school, my grades and intellectual abilities suffered. When I didn't practice my searingly spectacular guitar skills, I couldn't display them in shows. When I didn't read scriptures prior to the mission, I had no answers for people on the streets of Germany. The bottom line is that we all need to answer President Hinkley's charge to be better, goal by goal.

Evan, scouting is a chance to work hard, serve, and self-improve. I needed only five merit badges and the final service project to complete the Eagle and yet I didn't do it. I didn't fail at it because I didn't try. Instead, my efforts were mediocre. This is worse than failing because at least there is some attempt with failure. I can't use sports as an excuse because I wasn't very involved in sports after my sophomore year. I can't use school as an excuse because that only took up part of my day and I did that in a mediocre way too.

I drove occasionally my junior year when it was convenient for everyone because I had zero hour and I also worked after school. With great power comes great responsibility (Spiderman). I plan on requiring that my children contribute to auto insurance premiums if they desire to use my cars. You are the better man, Evan, when you earn the driving privilege such that mom and dad can't reasonably deny it because you are pursuing worthy endeavors such as sports, school, work, scouting, church activities, or service. You do a good job with these things already. But Mom and Dad mean to challenge you to answer President Hinkley's call to be better, goal by goal.

As should we all answer the former Prophet's call. Life is best when we are actively living it as opposed to letting life happen to us. We live actively by setting goals, tracking them, and seeing them to their completion. Whether we fail or succeed is a separate question from whether we were mediocre in our efforts. As an example, I worked my butt off to get the score I got on the Law School Admissions test. I worked on it 15-20 hours a week for 5 months. It was not a score that could get me into Harvard or even BYU. But I knew that after I had taken the test my efforts had not been mediocre and I still got into a good school. What are the things everyone is working on improving right now?

Ryan

3 comments:

Amy said...

Thanks Ryan for your post. There are many things I need to work on. This seems silly and stupid because in about a year or maybe less it probably won't matter anymore. My running career is winding down. I only have a few more weeks of track left and then one more cross country season before I'm done with my running career. I've been frustrated for the past few weeks with my racing. It seems like I've lost my competitive drive. In my races I'm just letting girls go by me like I'm standing still. I don't challenge them in the races as I once did. I've been frustrated and discouraged with running because I don't want to end my career on a low note. So I'm working on getting my competitiveness back. Hopefully it works out. Like I said, this probably won't matter in a year, there are more important things in life. But I can't stand failing and I want to overcome this small obstacle.

janellelee said...

great insight ryan, i totally agree with you. growing up one of my biggest regrets is not trying hard enough to go for things i really wanted. i was too afraid of failure or ridicule. i see now that my mind set was so trivial. i missed out on a lot of progression just because i was too afraid, or if it got slightly hard, i quit. i am happy to say that i am no longer like that. the greatest goal in my life is to raise my children in the gospel. i am proud of myself for continually striving to achieve this.

jenbahrens said...

Ryan, I really liked this post! Goal-setting is very important. On my mission, I did a lot of it. Now, when I feel like I'm in survival mode constantly, setting goals sort of gets thrown by the wayside. My current goals have to do with daily scripture study and trying to get more healthy. I think there's a streak of "laid-back-ness" and "calmness" that is prevalant in our family culture that is good but doesn't lend itself very well to goal setting. So I think its a balance that we all need to find. Setting goals and proactively improving ourselves versus being calm and not overly hyper-stressed about everything.

Evan, I hope you don't feel like everyone's ganging up on you about this Eagle thing. But it is a great thing to do. I'd love to help with your Eagle project when I come out in July! And good luck with navigating the waters of trying to get Mom and Dad to let you drive. I've been through that too.